Monthly Archives: July 2006

Who Am I?

“That’s not me!”
“Its not who I am”
“Not my cup of tea”
“never could do that never will”

By saying any of the things above this person has proved  once again that he is simply out of his frikkin mind and that he/she  is too constricted in his approach to this world and that this person doesn’t know how to adapt and change and that this person might pass any and every opportunity  to learn and explore something new.
In a way I would say, if that person seriously believes what he or she says then that person has lost his or her vigour to grow and outreach  in life.

No???? Seems that you don’t seem to agree.  O.K. then Let’s talk .

Let’s start with Who am I? As far as I know I am a continuously growing and learning  human who is evolving with every passing second.  Every passing second is instilling new thoughts, new experiences, making sense of theage old tradition . I am growing and getting mature and hence I am a continuosly  changing individual. The pace of change is so  rigrous that some decision made by me a months back seems unreasonable at this very point If I, as an individual, am a victim of rapidly changing dynamics then the question arises.. How the hell I am ever gonna define myself? With so much new things, new adventurous stuffs, new experience to gain, how can I be so sure of what I like and what I don’t?

And mind it, I am not just talking about growing and changing  on the mental level. Let’s talk about physical level.
A couple years back if u would have asked me if I would climb up a frikkin slippery mold ridden rock on sweaty hot and sunny  day  and  let my dear life hang with a few interwoven threads and claim that as my biggest achievement for the day…   I would have greeted with a custom made reply :). F@@k YOU DUDE! ARE YOU OUT OFF YOUR FRIKKIN MIND? THATS NOT ME. I AM NOT THAT CRAZY.
But that was then and this is now.. A new me – an avid rock climber, who has graduated to a 5.11 recently. Love to hang myself by that old, thin, slimy rope and  enjoy every microsecond of extention my life has to offer, not knowing  which thread in that rope decide to ease itself out and which rock might let that little piece of metal slip, followed closely by my dear life. Even if that’s insane but its that insanity makes it more enjoyable..I think I am Out of frikkin mind

Am I that timid guy from two years back or am I this new changed guy? Who I  really am?
and how can  I ever  say ‘thats not me’?


Fast driving

Every now and then you hear about people  driving fast and breaking  speed limits.  I  wonder what’s that about rash driving that even most sensible people drive away from their sensibility and risk their own life and may be of others. It was a puzzle for me untill I sat down two days back and started exploring my own reasons.

Driving  at high speed gives me a sense of control, a sense of achievement, a sense of freedom coupled with a sense of excitement-A potentially addictive combination altogether. I simply fall for the excessive rush of adernaline flowing thru my veins and just cave in to the temptation of  hearing the sound of my own heart banging against my rib cage.

However, sometimes I just wanna witness the fight my eyelids put, to stay open, against those forceful gushes of  merciless wind and these other times I wanna settle down for the melodious whistling of the wind  in my  ears. Sometimes I want to prove the superamacy of man over machine and.. and maybe sometimes I wanna prove that god doesn’t only reside in those temples, churches and holy places but ride along with  his child and make sure that he  comes home alive…